Losing a loved one is never easy, and when it comes to suicide, the pain and grief can feel overwhelming. We want you to know that you’re not alone in this journey. Dealing with the shock, anguish, and conflicting emotions that follow a suicide can be incredibly challenging, but we’re here to support you every step of the way.
It’s normal to feel guilty or wonder if there was something more you could have done. You might even feel angry or question your relationship with the person. These emotions can be difficult to navigate, and it’s important to permit yourself to feel them without judgment.
We understand that suicide loss can bring additional challenges, such as police inquiries, media attention, and the stigma that, unfortunately, still surrounds suicide. Feeling isolated and unsupported during such a difficult time is heartbreaking, but please remember that some people want to help you through this.
While there may always be unanswered questions, and the pain of losing someone to suicide may never fully disappear, please know that healing is possible. It may seem unimaginable right now, but with time, you can come to terms with your loss, find ways to cope with the pain, and eventually find a sense of acceptance to move forward.
Dealing with Suicide Loss and Complicated Grief
Losing someone to suicide can lead to complicated grief, where the pain and sorrow remain unresolved. This can make it difficult to resume your own life and relationships. You may feel emotionally numb, struggle to accept your loved one’s death, or even have thoughts of suicide yourself.
Please remember that help is available. Seeking support is an important step towards healing. If you’re depressed or traumatized, reaching out to a mental health professional can make a difference.
Grieving in Your Own Way
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Please don’t compare yourself to others or feel like you should think or feel a certain way. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to express them.
Allow yourself the space to feel and express your emotions. Writing in a journal can be a helpful outlet for processing your thoughts and feelings. You might also find it healing to write a letter to your loved one, saying the things you never got to say.
Remembering the positive aspects of your loved one’s life and your relationship can also be incredibly healing. Celebrate their achievements and share cherished memories with others who loved them.
It’s important to acknowledge that the healing process is not linear. There will be ups and downs along the way, and that’s okay. Certain dates or triggers may bring back waves of pain and sadness even years after the suicide. Be patient with yourself, and remember that healing takes time.
Reaching Out for Support
You don’t have to face this journey alone. Reach out to supportive friends and family members who are understanding and compassionate. Joining a bereavement support group specifically for those who have lost someone to suicide can provide invaluable support from individuals who have experienced a similar loss. Speaking with a therapist or grief counsellor who specializes in supporting those who are grieving can also be incredibly helpful.
Talking About Your Loss
Sharing your loss with others can be challenging, especially due to the stigma surrounding suicide and mental health problems. Choose who you confide in wisely and decide how much information you’re comfortable sharing. Remember that you are under no obligation to answer intrusive questions.
Explaining Suicide to Children
Discussing suicide with children can be difficult, but honesty is key. Tailor your explanation to their age level while being as truthful as possible. Let them know they are not responsible for what happened and can always reach out for help if they feel sad or depressed.
Moving Beyond the Question “Why?”
The question of “why” is often at the forefront of our minds when we lose someone to suicide. While seeking understanding is a natural part of the grieving process, accepting that there may never be a satisfying answer is important. Suicide is a complex issue with multiple contributing factors.
Letting Go of Guilt, Anger, and Blame
Grieving a suicide often involves intense emotions such as guilt, anger, and blame. Recognizing that these feelings are normal but not based on reality is important.
Understand that there are things beyond your control. Blaming yourself or others won’t change what has happened. Separate responsibility from blame and recognize that suicidal individuals often have a distorted worldview due to extreme emotional pain.
Looking Forward
Life will never be the same after losing someone to suicide, but it is possible to find happiness and meaning again. Reflect on the good times shared with your loved one and consider creating memorials or tributes in their honour. Use your experience to help others by volunteering or reaching out within your community.
Supporting Someone Grieving a Suicide
Supporting someone grieving a suicide may feel challenging, but your presence, love, and compassion matter more than finding the right words. Be there for them without judgment or pressure for answers. Offer practical assistance when needed. Remember that grief takes time, so continue offering support long after the funeral.
Helplines and Support
If you need additional support, helplines are available specifically for suicide loss survivors in various countries. These organizations can provide further resources and assistance tailored to your needs.
